i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
