So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
