Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
