just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
