My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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