Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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