belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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