my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
