The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize