Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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