yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it because I queefed?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
