Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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