I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
