She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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