What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
