New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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