I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
