i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
