You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
