so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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