i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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