How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
