I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
