$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize