He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
