i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
