you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
