I'm drive I can fine osifer
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
