I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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