I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
