I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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