she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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