Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
