well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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