wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
