Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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