yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
