I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
