im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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