Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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