she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
