I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you traded sex for a burrito?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
