Sry I called you an 8
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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