Are we in a gay sports bar?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
