it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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