He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
