Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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