I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They took my balls.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
