That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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