Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
