pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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