Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
