I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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