My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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