Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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