question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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