Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
