Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
