Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When are your genitals available?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
